…i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but somewhere around 2010, or whenever it is that people realize that the teens are actually a new decade, and not just a continuation of whatever the hell decade this decade is called, all this neo-Exploding Hearts stuff is gonna be swept away in some as-yet-unforeseen cosmic fin-de-siecle subcultural housekeeping, and Let’s Dance are likely going to be out of a (metaphorical) job. i mean, i don’t know, even their choices of t-shirts and belts in their photos seem to be agonizingly over-thought. How much longer can we possibly care about this shit? Until said cosmic metamorphosis occurs, however, i guess there’s no prevailing reason for me not to admit that i like the formal aspects of Exploding-Hearts-core as much as the next guy, which is why i kinda wish that snare drum sound wasn’t so god damn obnoxious on the a-side ((which is, in a nice touch, deemed the “odd side”)). The first song on the “even” side whizzed by without making much of an impact; the second song was a cover of “Bodies” by the Sex Pistols. Now, as any old-timer will dutifully attest, at one point in time, “Bodies” was the high water mark of punk rock filthiness—the bastion of foulness against which all else was, at that time, measured. “Bodies” was the one song you REALLY wanted to crank out your window at the neighbors when you were in high school ((to underscore your acrid bitterness, your ocean-deep alienation, and the pristine fidelity of your $69.95 JCPenney® stereo system)), yet high school ((or, really, any)) bands rarely covered “Bodies,” mainly because it was harder to learn than the relatively direct “God Save the Queen” and “Holidays in the Sun,” and it never really sounded right when you played it. And never has “Bodies” sounded UN-RIGHTER than this! I mean, the guy sounds like he’s singing the right words, but they don’t sound like they’re getting sung in the right places. The Sex Pistols’ “Bodies” was offensive on the grounds of foul language and shocking subject matter; the Let’s Dance version is actually offensive due to its shocking ineptitude. Then again, the vinyl looks pretty cool so fuck it. BEST SONG: “Summer Breeze” BEST SONG TITLE: “Let’s Dance” worked pretty well for Chris Montez… FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: “Ben – 31 Teeth. Thomas – 6 Strings. Matt – 4 Strings. Byron – 2 Sticks.” 31 + 6 + 4 + 2 = 43, which is my age. Stop making fun of me on your records!
